Conversation with Rachel

 2020 is almost over... it has been the hardest year ever, right??? What got us through??? Resilience maybe??? Resilience is the ability to handle and recover from stressful situations and crises. It is not simply coping with adversity, but to experience growth and flowering, finding meaning and purpose, experiencing self-awareness and to tasting life in all its flavours. Remember, resilience is not about overcoming but becoming...  As already mentioned, it has been the hardest year ever.... So stop... Yeah, JUST STOP FOR A MOMENT.... THINK and REFLECT....  Remind yourself that you did your best and that is all you could do. Pause. Take it all in, the good and the bad... Acknowledge your losses... But more importantly, acknowledge what you are grateful for. For me, I am thankful that: I am alive,  My family is safe,  I am still employed,  I am pursuing my dreams,  I am living my truth Going to 2021, I open my heart to growth, love and peace. I really hope that the Conversation with Rac

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy Stop making things not work for you. Stop looking for reasons why it doesn’t work or why it will never work for you, instead figure out a way to make good things happen to you. Whenever we try to make changes in our lifestyle, sometimes we doubt ourselves that maybe we can’t do it or it isn’t suitable for us. Why does this happen? It isn’t because of fear but because we don’t believe in ourselves. We aren’t confident enough to keep pushing through to do things we should. We are complacent about our dreams… No idea will work for every single person, but a lot of them can work for most people as long as you believe that you can make them work. Stop wasting your energy to worry. Use what you have to create and grow from what you’ve learned. Guys, you need to put more trust in yourself and believe in the process of things. If one thing doesn’t

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will When the road you are trudging seems uphill When the funds are low and debts are high And you want to smile but have to sigh When all is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but do not quit Success is failure turned inside out And you can never tell how close you are It may be near when it seems far So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit It’s when things go wrong that you must not quit.                                                                                                                 By John Greanleaf Whittier Have you ever been in a situation where you just don't want to go on? The harder you try the more it feels like you are self inflicting pain? You call out to your God, and it feels like your cries fall on deaf ears... Where you question you will to live? I know I have, many times.... But, here I am alive, happy and hopeful. My family and friends got me through.  What got you through? Ta

Let's speak to this common phrase, "Some people are lucky." I don't know anything about luck. I have never banked on it, and I am afraid of people who do. Luck, to me, is HARD WORK - and realising an opportunity and what isn't. I had to purposefully plan and strategise what I want to achieve by when. I consciously decided to do less partying (I don't think I have ever started 😊), reduce reckless spending, watch less of Netflix, and movies to achieve my goals. Likewise: Her body is banging hot because she decided to eat clean, meditate, and worked out every day. His business is successful because he puts the extra hours instead of the 09h00 - 17h00 to get the business off the ground.  She has that corner office and earns a six-digit salary because she is qualified for it and has the relevant experience. They are couple goals because they have taken a decision to continuously forgive and love each other every day. They can afford finer things in life because th

I am not afraid to expose my melanin to the world.  There's too much magic brewing in this skin for me to keep to myself. To hide this shade under the sun because of society's standard of beauty. I am my beauty, and that is enough to live in this body to walk in my truth. I am enough.... You are enough....

Women all over the world walk around with deep scars covered by layers of make-up or a smile. Let us remove those layers and begin the journey of healing.  It is known that women in different age groups go through a lot of trials and tribulations in life. It is time for women unite and be one, speak in one voice in issues that affect the nation. This week I would like to speak life and unity to Inzalabantu. Bafazi lets help each other heal.  Let us celebrate our individualism and the uniqueness in you. Let us hold each others hands in building a nation of bold and assertive women. Life is a journey let us walk side by side through the dark tunnels and the sunny days.  Let’s us mentor each other.  To married women: Let us help prepare the women aspiring to be married for marriage. Let us be honest: Marriage is not easy and not for the faint-heart. Marriage works best when you are one with your spouse. When that union embraces the individual character it builds a strong tea

Just the other day, I got a call from my Bank. They were thanking me for being such a loyal client, and they would like to reward me with life insurance. For just R 250 a month, I can ensure that my loved ones are well taken care of when I'm dead. First of all, since when does one pay to receive a reward or how exactly am I being rewarded? Secondly, as much as I love my "loved ones," I would also like to reap the benefits of this life insurance, which I will pay for monthly. Right?? Wouldn't you? Yeah, you guessed right, that call did not end well for the Sales Consultant. These calls are too common to me, and I have become so familiar with the lingo also. But that call got me so fired up. How come I never get a call inviting me to be part of a business seminar/summit/webinar? Banks do have investments, savings, and stokvel portfolios, right? So, how come they never sell me these products? I guess my frustration is that society has conditioned us to be economical/fina

In the last few days, I have been able to read and meditate  I was so hurt I could not find my centre I was so hurt, I resented God and thought he did not exist ... Well, at least not in my life ... I could not pray ... I was too hurt Broken into pieces ... I had no identity ... For all the things I prayed for, I forgot myself I don't know how to pray for me ... Or have a conversation with God about me  Today I felt so ready and open ... I felt that the walls that once existed between God and I no longer exist I am going to heal My only prayer for tonight is... Please purify me, forgive me and thank you for everything. Love the Naked Soul

Finding reasons not to do a set task or goal is much easier than doing it. I wanted to give up on this blog. I am new to this blogging thing. I am not sure if anyone is reading it or if it is having the impact I had hoped it would - that is to spark debates, conversations, inspire and heal. Well no one is commenting or liking... It is not marketed well... So this blog must be useless... Everyone else is doing much cooler things on their blogs... I also wanted to give up on the fitness challenge that I recently joined. I wanted to give up 2 days after I joined the challenge... Why? The pain was too much. Every limb in my body was screaming pain. I convinced myself that nope, I'm good.  But having friends that you share the same goals and aspirations as you is very important because they are your voice of reason. I spoke to a friend of mine who reminded me that at the beginning my body will be in pain but it will adjust.... Right there and then, I reminded my self that discipline is

It is so important to make sure that you take good care of your body, mind and soul everyday, not just when you get sick. Most of us are always busy, have stressful jobs, or are too consumed with technology to make time for ourselves. Therefore, "Me-Time" is usually last on the agenda. Worse, we sometimes feel guilty about taking time to take care of ourselves. So here is what you can do to boost your well-being: Make sleep part of your self-care routine. Exercise daily as part of your self-care routine. Eat right for self-care. Meditate. If it feels wrong, do't do it. Say exactly what you mean. Furthermore..... Don't be a people pleaser. Trust your instincts. Never speak bad about your self. Never give up on your dreams. Don't be afraid to say no. Don't be afraid to say yes. Be kind to yourself. Let go of what you can't control. Stay away from drama and negativity. Love.... Your mental health comes first. Protect it.

The hero does not become great during the period of comfort. The illustrious and noble souls of our world became strong, brave and moral whilst standing resolutely in the storms of adversity, difficulty and doubt. It is in the moment that you face your deepest weakness that you receive the chance to forge your greatest strengths. Real power, then comes not from a life of ease but one of intense effort, devoted discipline and demanding action in the direction of what your supreme self knows to be right. To continue at a time when all you want to do is stop.  To push even harder when quitting looks easier and sexy.  To be stubborn about your goals when you feel like giving up - is to ultimately claim your membership among the great warriors and honorable characters who through their determination reached the top of the mountain. Whatever storm you may be facing, do not stop!!!

Most of my short thought pieces have mainly reflected on wounded/healing women and empowering girls and women. I acknowledge that this space has not given much voice or space to boys; instead has been very critical of the imperfections of men. Truth and fact is: I don't know what it is like to be a boy/man or raise one. My closest understanding/comprehension of a male character is through the lens of being a daughter, a sister to my brothers, an aunt to my nephew, and a lover. Let's paint the picture: South Africa is experiencing a surge in cases of gender-based violence and femicide. While people of all genders experience intimate partner and or sexual abuse, men are often the perpetrators and women and children the victims. In 2009, 56% of women murdered were killed by their intimate male partner. Just under 50% of women report having ever experienced emotional or economic abuse at their intimate partners' hands in the lifetime. Between 28 and 37% of adult men reported ha

Amnon was wicked. He brutally raped his sister Tamar. He destroyed her destiny and future. he slashed her self-esteem. He spoiled her integrity. He broke her femininity like a twig under his feet. Her assassinated her character. She went into his room a virgin with a future. When it was over, she was bleeding, trembling, crying mass of pain. [2 Samuel 13: 1 - 21] That is one of the saddest stories in the Bible. The body survived, but femininity was destroyed. She felt as though she would never be the woman that she would have been had it not happened. Have you ever had anything happen to you that changed you forever? Somehow, you were like a palm tree and you survived. Yet you knew you would never be the same..... But .... but some do not survive .... Why has society normalized the harassment, objectifying, abuse and killing of women? "A man shot his wife four times on the chest in front of the kids." "Pregnant South African woman found dead hanging in tree.&

"A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything." "If a man swear that they want to harm you when you are asleep, you can go to sleep. If a woman says so, stay awake." "The lion does not turn around when the small dog barks." "Peace is costly, but it is worth the expense." "A speaker of truth has no friends." "No matter the economy of the jungle, the lion will never eat grass." "If you think you're too small to make a difference, you haven't spent a night with a mosquito." "Kindness is a language which the blind can see and the deaf can hear." "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

I came across the article "Motshekga, deputy and top official at odds over reopening date for schools" written by Prega Govender from Sunday Times. Link to the article:  https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/news/2020-05-03-motshekga-deputy-and-top-official-at-odds-over-reopening-date-for-schools/ About the Article: It cites conflicting messages from the top structure of the Department of Basic Education (DBE) that has left South Africa confused. It stated that the department had underscored many hurdles that schools need to overcome before they can reopen.  The department has the month of May to address issues like supplying masks, sanitizers, and running water to schools, further ensuring that safety protocols like social distancing, dealing with teachers who have comorbidity, and providing extra classrooms will add to the challenges. Some thoughts: When I read this article my first thought was: What is the rush? Like really what is the rush? I mean the Afr

I will teach my daughter how to: cook, clean, bake, take care of herself and others,  be responsible, be tender and kind, have manners, and put on make-up if and when she wants to. I will teach all this not because she is a girl or being trained to be a good wife (in future). But I am teaching her because these are important skills to have. I am teaching her because I will not be around forever so when that time comes she needs to be able to hold her head up high and say "Mom taught me better, I got this". I will also teach her how to: change a light bulb, paint, wash those windows, voice her opinion firmly but respectfully, and  fist fight to defend herself when necessary. I will teach her all of this not because I want her to think that she is better than men/boys but, because she is just as important, competent and capable. More importantly, for her to be a more multifaceted individual.

I remember a speech I delivered to my fellow grade 12 classmates. It was in isiZulu. Oh boy was I passionate and feisty back then!!! We were given a range of topics to choose from and I chose to discuss the women’s role in society as well as those of men. Well my classmates were not surprised that I chose this topic because of my personality. And I delivered, made my point and got a standing ovation. More about the speech: It argued that women are just as capable as men. Women can do hard labour, be engineers and politicians. Like men can cook, take care of the children and do house chores. At the time my frustration was on how at a very tender age society mould girls to be good wives, to be obedient and learn to follow instructions. Yet boys are encouraged to have fun, explore more and  experiment.  They are hardly (if ever) taught how to be a good and responsible husband or held accountable for their actions. This speech went on to challenge the boys in my class to know bet

Each of us has a way of looking at the world, of interpreting events and the actions of people around us. This is our attitude, and it determines much of what happens to us in life. If our attitude is essentially fearful, we see the negative in every circumstance. We stop ourselves from taking chances. We blame others for mistakes and fail to learn from them. If we feel hostile or suspicious, we make others feel such emotions in our presence. We sabotage our career and relationships by unconsciously creating the circumstances we fear the most. The human attitude, however, is malleable. By making our attitude more positive, open, and tolerant of other people, we can spark a different dynamic – we can learn from adversity, create opportunities out of nothing, and draw people to us. We must explore the limits of our willpower and how far it can take us. Inspired by Robert Greene - The Laws of Human Nature

Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) is an infectious disease caused by a new virus. Coronavirus disease spreads primarily through contact with an infected person when they cough or sneeze. It also spreads when a person touches a surface or object that has the virus on it, then touches their eyes, nose, or mouth. COVID-19 has changed our reality. People are infected and affected. The world we know and grew up to is changing and there’s nothing we can do about it but adapt. Some professions will become redundant. Question is how are you adapting to the current context? COVID-19 has shined light to the fact that we are socially dependent beings and majority of us live from hand to mouth. Question remains, how are you adapting? How do you view this downtime? As a mini holiday, an opportunity to binge on Netflix or catching up on social media? Then I must diagnose you: You are a lost soul!!! My advice to you is CHANGE and ADAPT. Change your attitude, outlook on and approach

Doubting yourself Negative thinking Fear of Failing Criticizing others Negative self-talk Procrastinating Fear of the unfamiliar Pleasing everyone else but yourself 

What is the point of being alive if you do not at least try to do something remarkable? Failure is probably one of the aspects in life most people are afraid of. But, failure is inevitable and an important part of your growth and developing resilience. It is through failure that you learn more about your personality, strengths, weaknesses; and what you like or don’t. How society defines failure is usually very distorted and a misrepresentation of reality. It is usually associated with non-verbalised social expectations.  Failing to understand that, failure drives change and innovation. It is through failure that we know of Nomzamo Mbatha, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Bartlett and so on. Failure steers us towards our goals. We tend to get so court up in fine tuning the craft that we forget to: shine light on how difficult the process is, how many times we got it wrong before we got it right, who we lost during the process and how much we sacrificed. Success is not achieved overn

Each day is an opportunity to unleash your brilliance, release your potency and play with the big leagues to achieve magnificent results. You have such power within you and it reveals itself most, with the first rays of sunlight. Do not allow past and present disappointments and frustrations to demoralize you, stifle your confidence and suffocate your capability. In the world that seeks to keep you down, stand tall, fight back and build yourself up. Against all adversity, create your own lane and step into your light. Remember: You are smart, beautiful, capable and dynamite waiting to explode!!! Yes you. Reclaim your inner self. I was inspired by Robin Sharma ~ author of "The 5 AM Club"

As I reflect …. Why did I start this blog site? Is there an audience for it?  My inner voice responded: Sweetheart, you have experienced life. The good and the bad.  People around you are going through life.  We all have a story to tell. Narrate yours and those of around you. For the “ Child of the African Soil ”, we choose to heal and inform through words, experiences and lessons.