Journey to self

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I remember a speech I delivered to my fellow grade 12 classmates. It was in isiZulu. Oh boy was I passionate and feisty back then!!! We were given a range of topics to choose from and I chose to discuss the women’s role in society as well as those of men. Well my classmates were not surprised that I chose this topic because of my personality. And I delivered, made my point and got a standing ovation.

More about the speech:
It argued that women are just as capable as men. Women can do hard labour, be engineers and politicians. Like men can cook, take care of the children and do house chores. At the time my frustration was on how at a very tender age society mould girls to be good wives, to be obedient and learn to follow instructions. Yet boys are encouraged to have fun, explore more and  experiment.  They are hardly (if ever) taught how to be a good and responsible husband or held accountable for their actions. This speech went on to challenge the boys in my class to know better and do better. And for girls to explore more, challenge the status quo and where they are not provided for a sit to bring their own.

So, what is the point of this piece?
More than ten years after this speech, I realised that:
  • I have not been true to myself with the decisions that I took and how much my actions were hypocritical (unintentionally).
  • Along the way I silenced my voice to conform – yes, I succumbed to societal expectation.
  • I was not happy.

I also realised that I missed that young passionate and feisty me. Beyond that, I do not want my daughter to fall into the same trap. I had to stop, reflect and rediscover myself.

I owed myself an apology. I promised myself to take better care of me. The journey to self requires one to be brutally honest with self. 

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 24, 2020 at 7:50 AM

    It's most difficult and terrifying to come to that realisation. When tend to allow ourselves to be vessels of other people's dreams. Family society friends, pressure mounts from every corner and the fear of disappointing them is an overwhelming one. We have a high rate of mental health issues yet no one realises because of kuyabekezelwa.... suicide is frequenting our youth. I think it is up to us to change that mentality. Many will challenge and rebel against us but it is imperative to raise an emotionally strong willed woman who defies the normal status quo. I'm raising Power

    ReplyDelete
  2. LadyN_GcabasheApril 24, 2020 at 10:18 AM

    I absolutely agree with you. We are Raising Powerful, bold and ambitious women. And that is what they have to see in US as their parents and mentors.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Miss KingApril 27, 2020 at 10:25 PM

    Really really love this piece, a lot of us have been untrue to ourselves, but then again we can't be too hard on ourselves, as long as we are learning lessons from our mistakes / choices then there is still hope for us.

    I start to worry, when we no longer see or learn lessons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LadyN_GcabasheApril 28, 2020 at 2:14 AM

      Thank you 😊. Great point: for every situation you/I find yourself in, never self pity but ask yourself what is the lesson.

      Delete

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