A Multifaceted King

Most of my short thought pieces have mainly reflected on wounded/healing women and empowering girls and women. I acknowledge that this space has not given much voice or space to boys; instead has been very critical of the imperfections of men. Truth and fact is: I don't know what it is like to be a boy/man or raise one. My closest understanding/comprehension of a male character is through the lens of being a daughter, a sister to my brothers, an aunt to my nephew, and a lover.

Let's paint the picture:

South Africa is experiencing a surge in cases of gender-based violence and femicide. While people of all genders experience intimate partner and or sexual abuse, men are often the perpetrators and women and children the victims.

• In 2009, 56% of women murdered were killed by their intimate male partner.
• Just under 50% of women report having ever experienced emotional or economic abuse at their intimate partners' hands in the lifetime.
• Between 28 and 37% of adult men reported having raped a woman.
• Most men who rape do so for the first time as teenagers and almost all men who rape do so in their mid-20's.
• Male victims of rape is an understudied group. One survey in KwaZulu-Natal and Eastern Cape found that 9.6% of men reported having experienced sexual victimization by another man.

Drivers:

Gender-based violence is prevalent in societies where there is a culture of violence, and male superiority is the norm. Furthermore, men's entitlement, strict reinforcement of gender roles and hierarchy, women having low social value and power, and the association of masculinity with the control of women fuel gender-based violence.

Let's reflect:

No parent raises their child/children to be rapists or abusers, but here we are. How did we get here? Where did we get it so wrong?

Platforms on women's and girl's empowerment are taking over. Not that it is a bad thing, but I see none for boys and men.

The saying that says, "Boys will be boys" is very wrong, and no sane parent should utter them. It starts with holding them accountable and at a very tender age.

If we are going to raise our girls to be strong and multifaceted Queens, so should our boys. After all, they deserve Multifaceted Kings.

I cringe at the thought that my daughter may fall in love or marry a rapist or self-entitled abuser. Let us deconstruct the culture of patriarchy and male superiority, and raise Multifaceted Kings.