Conversation with Rachel

Most of my short thought pieces have mainly reflected on wounded/healing women and empowering girls and women. I acknowledge that this space has not given much voice or space to boys; instead has been very critical of the imperfections of men. Truth and fact is: I don't know what it is like to be a boy/man or raise one. My closest understanding/comprehension of a male character is through the lens of being a daughter, a sister to my brothers, an aunt to my nephew, and a lover. Let's paint the picture: South Africa is experiencing a surge in cases of gender-based violence and femicide. While people of all genders experience intimate partner and or sexual abuse, men are often the perpetrators and women and children the victims. In 2009, 56% of women murdered were killed by their intimate male partner. Just under 50% of women report having ever experienced emotional or economic abuse at their intimate partners' hands in the lifetime. Between 28 and 37% of adult men reported ha...

Amnon was wicked. He brutally raped his sister Tamar. He destroyed her destiny and future. he slashed her self-esteem. He spoiled her integrity. He broke her femininity like a twig under his feet. Her assassinated her character. She went into his room a virgin with a future. When it was over, she was bleeding, trembling, crying mass of pain. [2 Samuel 13: 1 - 21] That is one of the saddest stories in the Bible. The body survived, but femininity was destroyed. She felt as though she would never be the woman that she would have been had it not happened. Have you ever had anything happen to you that changed you forever? Somehow, you were like a palm tree and you survived. Yet you knew you would never be the same..... But .... but some do not survive .... Why has society normalized the harassment, objectifying, abuse and killing of women? "A man shot his wife four times on the chest in front of the kids." "Pregnant South African woman found dead hanging in tree....

"A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything." "If a man swear that they want to harm you when you are asleep, you can go to sleep. If a woman says so, stay awake." "The lion does not turn around when the small dog barks." "Peace is costly, but it is worth the expense." "A speaker of truth has no friends." "No matter the economy of the jungle, the lion will never eat grass." "If you think you're too small to make a difference, you haven't spent a night with a mosquito." "Kindness is a language which the blind can see and the deaf can hear." "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

I came across the article "Motshekga, deputy and top official at odds over reopening date for schools" written by Prega Govender from Sunday Times. Link to the article:  https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/news/2020-05-03-motshekga-deputy-and-top-official-at-odds-over-reopening-date-for-schools/ About the Article: It cites conflicting messages from the top structure of the Department of Basic Education (DBE) that has left South Africa confused. It stated that the department had underscored many hurdles that schools need to overcome before they can reopen.  The department has the month of May to address issues like supplying masks, sanitizers, and running water to schools, further ensuring that safety protocols like social distancing, dealing with teachers who have comorbidity, and providing extra classrooms will add to the challenges. Some thoughts: When I read this article my first thought was: What is the rush? Like really what is the rush? I mean the Afr...

I will teach my daughter how to: cook, clean, bake, take care of herself and others,  be responsible, be tender and kind, have manners, and put on make-up if and when she wants to. I will teach all this not because she is a girl or being trained to be a good wife (in future). But I am teaching her because these are important skills to have. I am teaching her because I will not be around forever so when that time comes she needs to be able to hold her head up high and say "Mom taught me better, I got this". I will also teach her how to: change a light bulb, paint, wash those windows, voice her opinion firmly but respectfully, and  fist fight to defend herself when necessary. I will teach her all of this not because I want her to think that she is better than men/boys but, because she is just as important, competent and capable. More importantly, for her to be a more multifaceted individual.

I remember a speech I delivered to my fellow grade 12 classmates. It was in isiZulu. Oh boy was I passionate and feisty back then!!! We were given a range of topics to choose from and I chose to discuss the women’s role in society as well as those of men. Well my classmates were not surprised that I chose this topic because of my personality. And I delivered, made my point and got a standing ovation. More about the speech: It argued that women are just as capable as men. Women can do hard labour, be engineers and politicians. Like men can cook, take care of the children and do house chores. At the time my frustration was on how at a very tender age society mould girls to be good wives, to be obedient and learn to follow instructions. Yet boys are encouraged to have fun, explore more and  experiment.  They are hardly (if ever) taught how to be a good and responsible husband or held accountable for their actions. This speech went on to challenge the boys in my class to...

Each of us has a way of looking at the world, of interpreting events and the actions of people around us. This is our attitude, and it determines much of what happens to us in life. If our attitude is essentially fearful, we see the negative in every circumstance. We stop ourselves from taking chances. We blame others for mistakes and fail to learn from them. If we feel hostile or suspicious, we make others feel such emotions in our presence. We sabotage our career and relationships by unconsciously creating the circumstances we fear the most. The human attitude, however, is malleable. By making our attitude more positive, open, and tolerant of other people, we can spark a different dynamic – we can learn from adversity, create opportunities out of nothing, and draw people to us. We must explore the limits of our willpower and how far it can take us. Inspired by Robert Greene - The Laws of Human Nature

Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) is an infectious disease caused by a new virus. Coronavirus disease spreads primarily through contact with an infected person when they cough or sneeze. It also spreads when a person touches a surface or object that has the virus on it, then touches their eyes, nose, or mouth. COVID-19 has changed our reality. People are infected and affected. The world we know and grew up to is changing and there’s nothing we can do about it but adapt. Some professions will become redundant. Question is how are you adapting to the current context? COVID-19 has shined light to the fact that we are socially dependent beings and majority of us live from hand to mouth. Question remains, how are you adapting? How do you view this downtime? As a mini holiday, an opportunity to binge on Netflix or catching up on social media? Then I must diagnose you: You are a lost soul!!! My advice to you is CHANGE and ADAPT. Change your attitude, outlook on and approach...

Doubting yourself Negative thinking Fear of Failing Criticizing others Negative self-talk Procrastinating Fear of the unfamiliar Pleasing everyone else but yourself